Everything must go!
Billions of rand go unspent in government departments, particularly at local and provincial level, each year.
SA Revenue Service chief Pravin Gordhan is set to collect an extra R30bn this year, so the pressure to throw money around just becomes greater.
With a lack of institutional capacity (one of the favourite euphemisms employed by the incompetent and the lazy) to do anything useful with all the scratch - a road, a few houses, a communal tap or two and maybe the odd non-Oprah sponsored school - it should come as no surprise that government departments make a big thing about the Budget vote.
A party is the easiest way to spend cash that's burning your pocket.
After all, not everyone can project manage a municipal water treatment plant, but everyone can throw a party.
And if you don't have a bash, someone at the Auditor-General may just get it into his head to reduce the funds allocated to you for the following year.
Anyone with an expense account knows that if you fly economy class or buy your clients blends instead of single malt this year, the bean counters will make sure that next year that will be all you can afford.
The principles of good budgeting are similar to a closing-down sale: "Everything must go!"
Thanks to the political opposition (no, not the Zuma, Ancyl, Cosatu axis of feeble this time) we know who the most savvy budgeters in the government are.
Every year the DA Chihuahua snapping at the heels of the ANC gorilla takes the trouble to ask a simple question, reports Business Day.
How much did you spend on your post-Budget party?
The response was good: 26 departments spilled the beans. They clearly have no compunction about living it up on the citizens' dime. Who are the big spenders in government?
This year's "Polony sarmy and orange juice" award goes to the Provincial & Local Government Ministry. They had no party. That probably means sandwiches and juice is the best they can hope for from now on.
Perhaps they didn't celebrate because Gauteng finance MEC Paul Mashatile already exhausted their state-sponsored Diners Club card at Auberge Michel.
On copious amounts of Jambon de Paris and Burgundy, no doubt, because even at that fine Sandton establishment, R96 000 goes a long way.
Environmental affairs, labour and finance also commemorated the Budget vote without having to resort to Essentiale and Rennies.
The "Krug and truffles" award goes to minerals & energy.
It hosted a party costing R281 517 - the most expensive of the lot.
With gold around $600/oz and mineral exports on the boil, that lavishness may be understandable.
Then there's the likelihood of a windfall tax coming from Sasol and the mining rights conversions. Expect this department to top the list again next year. Gold foil streamers, anyone?
Best improvement was shown by former Agriculture Minister Thoko Didiza, who must be expecting a bumper crop this season - from R1 500 in 2005 she pumped up the party and spent R77 527.
The departments of housing and communications chose to go the public-private partnership route and got sponsorships.
Which corporations it was that showed their commitment to the Budget process hasn't been disclosed, but it's the first time I've seen companies opting for voluntary double taxation.
Judging who deserved the "Vintage wine and vomitarium" prize posed no problem. At R136 524 it was only the fifth most expensive buffet on offer - but with only 36 invited guests it definitely was an all-you-can-eat-and-drink affair.
And the winner is... public enterprises. Minister Alec Erwin managed to have a do at R3 792 per capita.
I've had a few no-expense-spared chow-downs but have never been able to reach such proportions. It couldn't have been easy.
Let's assume it was all proudly South African fare. Remember, it was when Erwin was at trade & industry (they spent R162 421, number three on the 2006 dosh for nosh list) that the country's right to port and sherry was negotiated away - in exchange for what I've never really figured out.
So let's give Erwin the benefit of the doubt and presume he's not one to add insult to injury.
That takes expensive champagne out of the calculation, which makes it much more difficult for one person to eat and drink his/her way through R3 792.
If you can find it, three cases of 1987 Meerlust Rubicon may help. But even if everyone drank a bottle (not impossible) you're still left with around R3 000.
Even at the poshest of hotels, a lobster main rarely goes over R500 and a Cape Town venue for just 36 people couldn't have been that expensive to rent.
I just couldn't work it out. Then I realised that everyone must have received a party gift.
Perhaps a small generator for next winter's brownouts? Read more
SA Revenue Service chief Pravin Gordhan is set to collect an extra R30bn this year, so the pressure to throw money around just becomes greater.
With a lack of institutional capacity (one of the favourite euphemisms employed by the incompetent and the lazy) to do anything useful with all the scratch - a road, a few houses, a communal tap or two and maybe the odd non-Oprah sponsored school - it should come as no surprise that government departments make a big thing about the Budget vote.
A party is the easiest way to spend cash that's burning your pocket.
After all, not everyone can project manage a municipal water treatment plant, but everyone can throw a party.
And if you don't have a bash, someone at the Auditor-General may just get it into his head to reduce the funds allocated to you for the following year.
Anyone with an expense account knows that if you fly economy class or buy your clients blends instead of single malt this year, the bean counters will make sure that next year that will be all you can afford.
The principles of good budgeting are similar to a closing-down sale: "Everything must go!"
Thanks to the political opposition (no, not the Zuma, Ancyl, Cosatu axis of feeble this time) we know who the most savvy budgeters in the government are.
Every year the DA Chihuahua snapping at the heels of the ANC gorilla takes the trouble to ask a simple question, reports Business Day.
How much did you spend on your post-Budget party?
The response was good: 26 departments spilled the beans. They clearly have no compunction about living it up on the citizens' dime. Who are the big spenders in government?
This year's "Polony sarmy and orange juice" award goes to the Provincial & Local Government Ministry. They had no party. That probably means sandwiches and juice is the best they can hope for from now on.
Perhaps they didn't celebrate because Gauteng finance MEC Paul Mashatile already exhausted their state-sponsored Diners Club card at Auberge Michel.
On copious amounts of Jambon de Paris and Burgundy, no doubt, because even at that fine Sandton establishment, R96 000 goes a long way.
Environmental affairs, labour and finance also commemorated the Budget vote without having to resort to Essentiale and Rennies.
The "Krug and truffles" award goes to minerals & energy.
It hosted a party costing R281 517 - the most expensive of the lot.
With gold around $600/oz and mineral exports on the boil, that lavishness may be understandable.
Then there's the likelihood of a windfall tax coming from Sasol and the mining rights conversions. Expect this department to top the list again next year. Gold foil streamers, anyone?
Best improvement was shown by former Agriculture Minister Thoko Didiza, who must be expecting a bumper crop this season - from R1 500 in 2005 she pumped up the party and spent R77 527.
The departments of housing and communications chose to go the public-private partnership route and got sponsorships.
Which corporations it was that showed their commitment to the Budget process hasn't been disclosed, but it's the first time I've seen companies opting for voluntary double taxation.
Judging who deserved the "Vintage wine and vomitarium" prize posed no problem. At R136 524 it was only the fifth most expensive buffet on offer - but with only 36 invited guests it definitely was an all-you-can-eat-and-drink affair.
And the winner is... public enterprises. Minister Alec Erwin managed to have a do at R3 792 per capita.
I've had a few no-expense-spared chow-downs but have never been able to reach such proportions. It couldn't have been easy.
Let's assume it was all proudly South African fare. Remember, it was when Erwin was at trade & industry (they spent R162 421, number three on the 2006 dosh for nosh list) that the country's right to port and sherry was negotiated away - in exchange for what I've never really figured out.
So let's give Erwin the benefit of the doubt and presume he's not one to add insult to injury.
That takes expensive champagne out of the calculation, which makes it much more difficult for one person to eat and drink his/her way through R3 792.
If you can find it, three cases of 1987 Meerlust Rubicon may help. But even if everyone drank a bottle (not impossible) you're still left with around R3 000.
Even at the poshest of hotels, a lobster main rarely goes over R500 and a Cape Town venue for just 36 people couldn't have been that expensive to rent.
I just couldn't work it out. Then I realised that everyone must have received a party gift.
Perhaps a small generator for next winter's brownouts? Read more
posted by Jopie Fourie at 9:53 AM
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